[ what would they have done if dextera hadn't woken up? guren is right to be worried—he's right to have yelled at him, and he would be right to still be angry. but here he is, apologizing, expressing a worry that dextera doesn't think he deserves after putting guren's feelings through the wringer. ]
...
[ he takes guren's hand, squeezing his fingers in response to that slight strain in his voice. that's his fault! he didn't mean to, but he wasn't thinking ahead at all.
now, though, he's physically fine. he nods again. ]
[As silly as it is, the simple grip of their hands helps. It's solid, and Guren curls his fingers back around him, watching their hold quietly. He can made the nod out in his periphery, and that's good enough that he believes him.]
Good.
[That's all he can say, or admit, and so he moves back, taking Dextera's hand with him, a motion to help him off the bed.] Stand up slowly, just in case. You were unconscious, so it's not the same thing as taking a nap. Your body reacted to something.
[ dextera isn’t used to waking up after something like that, in his own body. passing out is followed by death without fail, and he’s pushed out of the research laboratory before he realizes where or who he is.
he does stand up slowly, using his free hand to balance himself as he rises, and then he takes that hand to scrub over his face. he’s still miserable, a tight knot of guilt in his chest, and it weighs heavy on his shoulders.
it hurts, and he kind of wishes he were unconscious again. ]
[Honestly... how can he just stand here and look at that miserable looking face? He tried, for about a minute or two, but now his own heart is hurting, and he doesn't want to spend time awkwardly trying to figure out what to say.
He tugs Dextera by his held hand, instead, yanking him a little rudely closer. Close enough to put his other arm around him, holding him there.]
I don't want to see you making faces like that. You're making me feel like a monster for yelling at you. [Guren's tsun way of expressing his care is the worst, Dextera, don't listen to him.] Let's play a game of chess, or watch the stars, or something. I want to see you smile, instead.
[Thank god no one else in this house barges in on him being embarrassing like this because he would die on the spot he's pretty sure.]
[ dextera can’t believe there’s someone who wants to make him smile, after all the trouble he’s caused—of course he appreciates guren, of course he knows that they’re friends, but he’s used to being dismissed as soon as he’s a bother. ]
...
[ slowly, he lets his other hand drop, and sighs again—less put-upon than before, though. he nods. whatever they do, he’s glad to do it with guren, no matter how guren might have yelled at him. it’s friendship! but also a kind of masochism, like he feels some sick relief in having people annoyed with him even as anxious as it makes him to right it.
he gestures, vaguely, to where guren has placed the bottle, and glances up at him with a question in his eyes. did guren get one too? ]
[ Dex needs to be kinkshamed. Unfortunately, Guren is not the man to do this, so he ignores all of that horrible masochism and just hopes that things will get better. If he does this sort of thing again, he’ll probably yell again, though a little more carefully, and after that he’ll grow thicker and thicker skin over those sad expressions! As long as the smile always comes back. As long as Dextera realizes it only means he cares, and not that he plans to ditch him.
He drops both of his arms away from him now, stepping back to grant him space as he reaches into a pocket and procures his own bottle. The same color, it looks like, but his bottle is full. ]
I didn’t want to try it alone. Maybe in front of Asuka.
[ in front of ryo... to avoid scaring dextera like before, maybe. he doesn’t think about it too much, lest he upset himself remembering the way guren writhed in pain, but he does hold out his hands to take the bottle.
what does he want to do with it? who knows? maybe don’t give it to him, but the reality is that he just wants to sniff it.
if he can’t taste it, that’s probably the next best option. ]
[Really... Really? He considers it for a moment, and then sighs, offering it forward— only to pull it back slightly a moment later, stressing:] Don't drink it.
[Then, he hands it over. Enjoy the strawberry juice, it must smell amazing.]
[ dextera wasn’t going to drink it anyway! probably!
he takes the potion with a knowing, if slightly guilty, nod, and pushes it open with his thumb. like he’s testing a wine, he sniffs the cork first, and then the liquid itself.
it smells... completely different from his own. it smells sweet, actually—tempting. ]
[ dextera is still standing, and that’s what’s important! this particular potion, whatever it is, hasn’t done anything particularly dangerous to him—probably. ]
...
[ he shakes his head. his own was a little bitter-smelling, something that he definitely should not have put in his mouth. he grabs the bottle from where guren set it away, offering it. the scent probably lingers, even if it’s been sitting out for a while. ]
[He can smell it without even opening it, now that it's close enough to his face, and as Guren caps his own bottle, he moves to hold Dextera's. He makes a face at it. As much as he wants to ask why Dextera would drink this when it smells this way, he thinks the point is already made, so he's silent for a few seconds, considering.]
Asuka probably received something as well, though I guess it's different from whatever you or I got. [But, he's smart and probably won't chug it.] I wonder why the reward is different between us, this time.
[ dextera pauses, considering as well, but he gestures first to himself, and then to the spider’s crystal that he took—this one is floating in the corner of the room next to his own, which looks so slightly different, but they’re providing some light for his room.
is it because he purified her? or because he was the single necessary blue? he’s not sure, but those are his theories. ]
[The way they did it... They didn't really use swords all too much. Or knives. He pockets his own potion and keeps his hand on this empty bottle of disaster that Dextera had taken, but moves over towards the crystals.]
[ ...dextera nods, but he’s quick behind guren to steer him away from the crystals, just in case. he didn’t get the chance to tell guren not to touch the jorogumo’s idea sephirah when they parted after the quest, and he doesn’t need two people affected by it running around.
his own was safe, if depressing, but a monster’s crystal is something dangerous.
[Oh... He notices Dextera is following him rather quickly, but touching it is exactly what he wants to do. He'd had no problem touching Dextera's, so he has no idea, and he hasn't received Ryo's text just yet.
dextera is surprisingly quick about the way he grabs guren’s wrist, which is hopefully sign enough that he should not touch that seemingly inviting crystal.
he doesn’t know what ryo is going through yet either, but he knows better than to let someone touch it after the way longneck’s crystal killed the sentry angel.
[...That is definitely a sign, coming from Dextera. Guren stops when his wrist is grabbed, glancing to him, back at the crystal, and then to Dextera again.]
It's dangerous?
[Then why is it floating in the middle of the room, put it away!! But actually, his first thought is Ryo, since he had told him to take it. He'd nearly taken it himself, but Dextera had fallen...
[ dextera nods, equally as firmly as he shook his head before. of course, he doesn’t know specifically that it’s dangerous, but the way ryo reacted, the awkward way he avoided giving it back right away—it doesn’t look good.
he needs to check on ryo soon. ]
...
[ satisfied that guren won’t touch it, he lets his hand slip away, gently pushing the crystal toward his pile of do-not-touch items, which is really only the angelic rifle.
How so? You're safe to touch it, I assume because you can purify in the first place, but why can't I? Does that mean Asuka touching it was a bad thing?
[He recalls now, himself, the way Ryo had reacted. He had been so focused on Dextera that he hadn't taken it to mean much at the time, and now he's scolding himself for it.]
[ dextera doesn’t want to accuse guren of anything, when he can’t have known. it’s not his fault, since dextera let him touch his crystal, harmless except for its guilt and pain.
but he has to be honest. slowly, he nods, and goes to retrieve his laptop since it’ll take more than just writing on guren’s hand to communicate the problem here.
once he has it, he tries to be quick about his message. ]
It contains her essence. If you’re not expecting it, her feelings can overtake yours. I don’t know what it was she felt, but I don’t think it was good.
[Touch it, and be overtaken. Well, a demon doesn't have its own feelings, though, but it can use your feelings to take over. It's similar enough that Guren swears he'd be able to take it, but he doesn't see any need to test that right now.]
I'm sorry. That's my fault. I just assumed that since yours felt nice, the others would feel the same... [Pure, he remembers. It was just... warm? He covers his mouth, thinking.]
[ dextera doesn’t know what to make of this shift in the air that was already a little tense between them, and of course his natural assumption is that guren is still frustrated about this potion—dextera made a big mistake in taking it before consulting anyone else, after all, and now things are like this.
guren is mad at him. ]
...
[ asking him to stay now would only prolong this awkwardness, wouldn’t it? he knows that. he hates it, but he realizes it, even in his desperation to make things right. ]
I’m sorry.
[ and then he closes his laptop. what else is there to say? ]
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...
[ he takes guren's hand, squeezing his fingers in response to that slight strain in his voice. that's his fault! he didn't mean to, but he wasn't thinking ahead at all.
now, though, he's physically fine. he nods again. ]
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Good.
[That's all he can say, or admit, and so he moves back, taking Dextera's hand with him, a motion to help him off the bed.] Stand up slowly, just in case. You were unconscious, so it's not the same thing as taking a nap. Your body reacted to something.
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he does stand up slowly, using his free hand to balance himself as he rises, and then he takes that hand to scrub over his face. he’s still miserable, a tight knot of guilt in his chest, and it weighs heavy on his shoulders.
it hurts, and he kind of wishes he were unconscious again. ]
...
[ a sigh, as he hides his face. ]
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[Honestly... how can he just stand here and look at that miserable looking face? He tried, for about a minute or two, but now his own heart is hurting, and he doesn't want to spend time awkwardly trying to figure out what to say.
He tugs Dextera by his held hand, instead, yanking him a little rudely closer. Close enough to put his other arm around him, holding him there.]
I don't want to see you making faces like that. You're making me feel like a monster for yelling at you. [Guren's tsun way of expressing his care is the worst, Dextera, don't listen to him.] Let's play a game of chess, or watch the stars, or something. I want to see you smile, instead.
[Thank god no one else in this house barges in on him being embarrassing like this because he would die on the spot he's pretty sure.]
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...
[ slowly, he lets his other hand drop, and sighs again—less put-upon than before, though. he nods. whatever they do, he’s glad to do it with guren, no matter how guren might have yelled at him. it’s friendship! but also a kind of masochism, like he feels some sick relief in having people annoyed with him even as anxious as it makes him to right it.
he gestures, vaguely, to where guren has placed the bottle, and glances up at him with a question in his eyes. did guren get one too? ]
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He drops both of his arms away from him now, stepping back to grant him space as he reaches into a pocket and procures his own bottle. The same color, it looks like, but his bottle is full. ]
I didn’t want to try it alone. Maybe in front of Asuka.
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[ in front of ryo... to avoid scaring dextera like before, maybe. he doesn’t think about it too much, lest he upset himself remembering the way guren writhed in pain, but he does hold out his hands to take the bottle.
what does he want to do with it? who knows? maybe don’t give it to him, but the reality is that he just wants to sniff it.
if he can’t taste it, that’s probably the next best option. ]
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[Really... Really? He considers it for a moment, and then sighs, offering it forward— only to pull it back slightly a moment later, stressing:] Don't drink it.
[Then, he hands it over. Enjoy the strawberry juice, it must smell amazing.]
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he takes the potion with a knowing, if slightly guilty, nod, and pushes it open with his thumb. like he’s testing a wine, he sniffs the cork first, and then the liquid itself.
it smells... completely different from his own. it smells sweet, actually—tempting. ]
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[So, that was also dumb, but he was here and ready so it was fine. He tilts his head.] Let me see it.
[He wants to sniff, so he's going to take it back and do just that. And... it smells very sweet.] Was yours like this?
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...
[ he shakes his head. his own was a little bitter-smelling, something that he definitely should not have put in his mouth. he grabs the bottle from where guren set it away, offering it. the scent probably lingers, even if it’s been sitting out for a while. ]
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Asuka probably received something as well, though I guess it's different from whatever you or I got. [But, he's smart and probably won't chug it.] I wonder why the reward is different between us, this time.
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is it because he purified her? or because he was the single necessary blue? he’s not sure, but those are his theories. ]
...?
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[The way they did it... They didn't really use swords all too much. Or knives. He pockets his own potion and keeps his hand on this empty bottle of disaster that Dextera had taken, but moves over towards the crystals.]
Are you going to just keep it like that?
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his own was safe, if depressing, but a monster’s crystal is something dangerous.
it is, at least, out of leliel’s reach. ]
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So... what if he... reaches for it??]
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[ DON’T!!
dextera is surprisingly quick about the way he grabs guren’s wrist, which is hopefully sign enough that he should not touch that seemingly inviting crystal.
he doesn’t know what ryo is going through yet either, but he knows better than to let someone touch it after the way longneck’s crystal killed the sentry angel.
he shakes his head, firmly. ]
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It's dangerous?
[Then why is it floating in the middle of the room, put it away!! But actually, his first thought is Ryo, since he had told him to take it. He'd nearly taken it himself, but Dextera had fallen...
He'll have to check on him, he guesses.]
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he needs to check on ryo soon. ]
...
[ satisfied that guren won’t touch it, he lets his hand slip away, gently pushing the crystal toward his pile of do-not-touch items, which is really only the angelic rifle.
he can touch it!! but no one else!! ]
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[He recalls now, himself, the way Ryo had reacted. He had been so focused on Dextera that he hadn't taken it to mean much at the time, and now he's scolding himself for it.]
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[ dextera doesn’t want to accuse guren of anything, when he can’t have known. it’s not his fault, since dextera let him touch his crystal, harmless except for its guilt and pain.
but he has to be honest. slowly, he nods, and goes to retrieve his laptop since it’ll take more than just writing on guren’s hand to communicate the problem here.
once he has it, he tries to be quick about his message. ]
It contains her essence. If you’re not expecting it, her feelings can overtake yours. I don’t know what it was she felt, but I don’t think it was good.
Mine is special. Hers isn’t.
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[Touch it, and be overtaken. Well, a demon doesn't have its own feelings, though, but it can use your feelings to take over. It's similar enough that Guren swears he'd be able to take it, but he doesn't see any need to test that right now.]
I'm sorry. That's my fault. I just assumed that since yours felt nice, the others would feel the same... [Pure, he remembers. It was just... warm? He covers his mouth, thinking.]
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[ dextera starts to type something, but he quickly decides that it’s more than he’s willing to reveal right now and erases it. ]
I should have explained it earlier. I thought I could grab it.
[ and that’s true! he was clearly going to get it before he stumbled and fell, but his consciousness betrayed him. ]
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But it wasn't relevant before, or you just didn't want to.
[He pushes the bottle back at him, gently but without holding back, and then looks to Leliel. He's been here for so long.]
It's fine. You can't change what's already happened, but you can work on it and look to the future, too.
[So, it'll all be fine, he's sure. He looks back at Dextera.]
You know where I am if you want to tell me anything else. Since you're fine now, I'm going to leave. [Abrupt...]
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guren is mad at him. ]
...
[ asking him to stay now would only prolong this awkwardness, wouldn’t it? he knows that. he hates it, but he realizes it, even in his desperation to make things right. ]
I’m sorry.
[ and then he closes his laptop. what else is there to say? ]
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