[ a chicken daddy... the highest honor of the chicken hierarchy. ]
...
[ something doesn’t feel right about those words he’s said, but dextera is smiling anyway, proud to claim parentage of this chicken even if the chocobo beat him to most of it. he thinks that he might actually be counted among spot’s chicks. ]
Heh!
[ and then he takes guren’s hand with him off his head to write on that palm again.
[ hmmMMM... Guren stares at his own hand, then looks back to the drugs on the table. They’ll be fine here, if he puts them in a drawer. No one in this house likes to come down here, anyway. On top of that, he knows it’d be nice to spend some time just sitting with Dextera, chickens aside.
He sighs like it’s a big problem. ]
Fine. [ Decided, he moves just to take everything off the table and shove it in some drawer. ] But I’m not going to pet them.
[ dextera knows that, even if guren is sighing, he wouldn't agree if he truly didn't want to come—so he'll take this apparently reluctant agreement for what it is, which is just plain agreement.
there's a reason dextera is so obsessed with the birds, really! maybe guren will find out today, or maybe he won't, but dextera is pretty stoked to cuddle his chicken after all of this. if he can help it, he'd like to forget about the drugs, or guren's experimentation, or that long list of failures. it's not often that he wants to forget, but there's only so much he can handle.
so, when guren has cleared away the drugs—and dextera seems more relaxed for it, too—he's back to the door, though he pauses to make sure that he can actually leave now? guren did stop him earlier, but the basement looks less suspicious without guren's things strewn about. ]
[ As he steps up beside Dextera, he pulls a paper slip off the door with one hand and slips the other around his shoulders. ]
Get going. [ Rough words with a kind gesture, he nudges Dextera to keep moving forward. He only lets his hand slip away when they’re at the front door. Other than that, he’s quiet ]
[ more of that paper... he remembers guren igniting the chairs back when the furniture was talking, but this one doesn't seem explosive. even if he notices it, however, he doesn't really need to ask. he can put two and two together, and it's either a way of keeping people out or keeping secrets in.
dextera assumes the secrets are guren's drugs, but it's not like there's anyone he would tell anyway. except for one person but hey he's already involved! guren has trusted him with this information.
so, out the door he goes! it's nice to feel safe again, now that the shadows have calmed down. ]
[It is nice to feel safe. He's thinking a similar thing when he glances down at his arm, the skin completely colored when just days ago he'd been near black and white. It's strange, and he's not sure it'll last, but it's fine, for now.
Walking is too silent. Normally, Guren wouldn't mind the silence at all, but there's too much he wants to say that he's been having trouble expressing to Dextera, anyway. When he looks at him again, it's with a soft, concerned expression.]
[ dextera doesn’t expect the question, and he does seem visibly taken aback—and then his own expression softens. of course he hasn’t been doing okay, but that’s how he always is. he does better, and he does worse. whether it’s the town or guren scaring him for any reason, in any way, it’s all to be expected.
he nods, simply, but the way he tilts his head makes it clear that he doesn’t understand why guren has asked.
[His voice is still soft, meeting that gaze without a break until he decides to look forward again, taking a slow breath.] No, in fact, I don't want you to.
[There are no pockets on this stupid outfit to shove his hands into, so they hang uselessly at his side, curling into loose fists.]
[ a meaningful pause, not a silence of necessity. he even feels a little guilty, for apparently being so obvious about his pain that guren would feel the need to say this. he rubs his wrist, idly brushing his thumb over the place the consciousness orb used to be buried.
the archangel...
there are a lot of things that dextera hasn’t told guren, about himself, about his past, and so the way those have affected him aren’t immediately obvious either. he looks up from his arm, and nods.
for now, he isn’t going to be more okay, so that has to be enough. and then he tilts his head forward, demanding it of guren too. ]
[He understands the nod, and he lifts one of his hands to openly stare at it.] I can't tell you everything, even if I wish that I could. It would be nice to get it off my chest.
But there are some things that can't be shared in any way, or it puts the lives of others at stake. Even telling you that much is a risk.
[But his heart... it's getting to be too much. He needs something, especially without his drug to help him reign it in.] You help, Dextera. Just by being you.
[That's some sappy shit right there, but let him get it out in this post-shadow sad heart mood before he goes back to the tsun.] I want to do the same.
[ dextera doesn’t know how he could possibly be a help to guren just by being him, when he knows he’s often useless and occasionally worse than that, when guren is always taking care of him...! but he doesn’t want to argue. if guren thinks he helps, then that’s guren’s business.
he’s too selfish to push this friendship away, if the conditions are this easy. ]
...
[ and if the secrets guren is keeping involve others—their lives—then he understands that. keeping that kind of thing could easily turn into a twisted, terrible baroque, but what can dextera do except stand by and hope baroques simply don’t exist in this world?
so he takes guren’s hand and squeezes, shameless in his need to get this across. guren does help.
for that, he’s grateful, and he lifts guren’s hand to his forehead with a soft, but content, sigh—that’s all he can do. he can offer this comfort, and hope that’s enough to repay guren for everything. ]
[Aw... Guren watches him as he does this, smiling fondly at the gesture. Is he trying to say he does? Haha, maybe they're both similar in this way, he realizes, and so... if Dextera can relax a little and believe it just enough, then he can try to do the same.]
We're almost there. Let's see that chicken daughter of yours. I want to make a good impression.
[ guren makes him feel better with that little comment alone, and dextera squeezes his hand before dropping it entirely. his chicken daughter! she doesn't actually have a name, since dextera scooped her up before they could all be differentiated and named appropriately. most of them have food names, and he'd like to continue the trend.
so he nods. maybe guren can help him name her... ]
[ please don't insult spot, guren. he is a beloved member of the household and not just a big bird. ]
...
[ how to explain this? dextera spreads his hands as if to gesture a lot, and then motions in a direction to send his invisible gathering outside. then he narrows his hands together again, just one (probable) chicken, and takes his hands close to his heart.
his chicken daughter is allowed inside. the rest are in pens! ]
[It's a miracle (even for Guren) that he can understand that. It takes a moment, but he gathers it. He figures it's from spending so much time with Dextera, even if he's still noting just how much he's relying on gestures now, rather than writing.]
So just yours stays in the house. A house chicken. [Amazing.] I guess it's good that you have a pet to keep you company.
Edited (twice in a row.... bury me now) 2018-04-29 04:50 (UTC)
[ he nods! it is a house chicken! and dextera loves her!! angelicus' birds always seemed incredibly well-trained, though he never knew if it was because of her baroque or because they were friendly. now, however, he's gotten the impression that birds are just really good pets.
the closer they get to the house, the faster dextera walks, and there is the definite sound of... clucking, as they approach. the chickens have been fenced off and have a nice little area to enjoy, and it's almost an agonizingly domestic sight. ]
[It's... incredible, honestly. His heart is so heavy it's weighing down his shoulders, his chest, but a sight like this almost seems to lift some of that weight. Just like hanging out with Dextera in general.
At the same time, he almost feels tired from it. Emotions are exhausting, and sometimes he just wants to let them all out, but this is a bad time... He's usually so used to visiting Dextera that he doesn't mind walking ahead and pushing the door open, but this time, he lets that excitement be an excuse and keeps his steps in line a little behind him.]
[ dextera is not completely unaware that something is on guren's mind—a lot of somethings. he hasn't forgotten that guren called him over to test those drugs, and he probably would have kept going if dextera hadn't reacted so poorly.
for now, though, they're out of the house. they're away from that, and dextera feels like his own home is the better place to be, even without a fireplace. they don't need it right now. just company is enough. ]
...?
[ he pokes his head in, and he's not sure where his chicken has gone exactly, but he's sure she'll turn up eventually. he's not worried about it, and he reaches back to hook a finger around one of guren's to guide him into the house. despite the way he seems almost relentlessly happy, there's a wistful edge to his smile when he looks back at guren.
all this, the stupid chicken thing, is just a distraction, isn't it? but distractions are okay sometimes. ]
[Distractions like this are exactly what soothe his heart and help him keep his humanity and hold the demon back. He smiles back, even if it's lacking anything behind it, and steps in with Dextera in the lead.
He's already listening to try and locate this chicken.]
I don't know how your house is always so quiet when there are always so many people hanging around. [Himself included. But, he guesses this is the quiet person house, after all... It's nice.]
Which way?
[Is she in his room, or are they going to sit and wait, or what?]
[ dextera approaches quietly, since he doesn’t hear her walking around or anything. when he looks into his room, however, he finds her—fluffed up and nesting in the blanket that he has, but clearly has not been using for himself.
she’s taken it for herself, and she snoozes quietly. ]
...
[ dextera holds a finger to his lips, motioning for guren to be quiet! she’s so cute!! dextera loves her!!! ]
[...His heart is going to explode from this alone, so it's a perfect distraction. He'd get Dextera special chicken blankets, but then he's sure they'd all end up belonging to her, anyway. Gosh.
He's good at staying quiet, though, nodding before he looks back at the chicken.
Alright, he guesses he can see how it can be a pet. It suits Dextera, somehow, to have something so odd sleeping in his room.]
[ dextera approaches quietly, and he crouches beside her—it’s painfully obvious how much time he must spend just watching her, not even really cuddling her, though he does plenty of that too.
his expression is warm, terribly fond, and he looks at guren—too satisfied with himself to make fun of. maybe.
she seems to inflate a little with every breath, and then makes a small, peeping snoring sound with every exhale. ]
[He will give him this. The chicken is cute while sleeping. It's cute that she's cuddled up in Dextera's things, like she knows she's his, it's cute that she makes a little noise like a snore, and it's cuter than all of that that Dextera looks so pleased about it.
Guren steps closer, carefully, but he's worried about getting too close. He gets the feeling that even his presence would be difficult to stay so peaceful around. He doesn't want to wake her up.
So, he'll watch from a couple feet away, arms crossed loosely, focused on this and trying not to get emotional about being here at all. That last part might be showing in his eyes a little. He's happy, he's relieved, but he's worried and sad, too. It's a lot!!]
[ dextera doesn’t want to wake her up either, but he wants guren to be closer than this, too. she’s used to being stared at since that’s all dextera does, and he thinks she’s got a passively curing influence on everyone who looks at her—the bias, perhaps, of a new pet owner.
when he meets guren’s eyes, there’s something knowing in his gaze—similarly tired, with everything they’ve been through, but not nearly as bad—and he thinks guren would be much better off if he came to crouch as well.
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...
[ something doesn’t feel right about those words he’s said, but dextera is smiling anyway, proud to claim parentage of this chicken even if the chocobo beat him to most of it. he thinks that he might actually be counted among spot’s chicks. ]
Heh!
[ and then he takes guren’s hand with him off his head to write on that palm again.
C-O-M-E
S-E-E
get out of your creepy drug basement, guren. ]
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He sighs like it’s a big problem. ]
Fine. [ Decided, he moves just to take everything off the table and shove it in some drawer. ] But I’m not going to pet them.
[ He lies ]
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there's a reason dextera is so obsessed with the birds, really! maybe guren will find out today, or maybe he won't, but dextera is pretty stoked to cuddle his chicken after all of this. if he can help it, he'd like to forget about the drugs, or guren's experimentation, or that long list of failures. it's not often that he wants to forget, but there's only so much he can handle.
so, when guren has cleared away the drugs—and dextera seems more relaxed for it, too—he's back to the door, though he pauses to make sure that he can actually leave now? guren did stop him earlier, but the basement looks less suspicious without guren's things strewn about. ]
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Get going. [ Rough words with a kind gesture, he nudges Dextera to keep moving forward. He only lets his hand slip away when they’re at the front door. Other than that, he’s quiet ]
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[ more of that paper... he remembers guren igniting the chairs back when the furniture was talking, but this one doesn't seem explosive. even if he notices it, however, he doesn't really need to ask. he can put two and two together, and it's either a way of keeping people out or keeping secrets in.
dextera assumes the secrets are guren's drugs, but it's not like there's anyone he would tell anyway.
except for one person but hey he's already involved!guren has trusted him with this information.so, out the door he goes! it's nice to feel safe again, now that the shadows have calmed down. ]
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Walking is too silent. Normally, Guren wouldn't mind the silence at all, but there's too much he wants to say that he's been having trouble expressing to Dextera, anyway. When he looks at him again, it's with a soft, concerned expression.]
Have you really been doing okay?
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[ dextera doesn’t expect the question, and he does seem visibly taken aback—and then his own expression softens. of course he hasn’t been doing okay, but that’s how he always is. he does better, and he does worse. whether it’s the town or guren scaring him for any reason, in any way, it’s all to be expected.
he nods, simply, but the way he tilts his head makes it clear that he doesn’t understand why guren has asked.
guren is the one who has been suffering. ]
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[His voice is still soft, meeting that gaze without a break until he decides to look forward again, taking a slow breath.] No, in fact, I don't want you to.
[There are no pockets on this stupid outfit to shove his hands into, so they hang uselessly at his side, curling into loose fists.]
I just want to make sure you know that.
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[ a meaningful pause, not a silence of necessity. he even feels a little guilty, for apparently being so obvious about his pain that guren would feel the need to say this. he rubs his wrist, idly brushing his thumb over the place the consciousness orb used to be buried.
the archangel...
there are a lot of things that dextera hasn’t told guren, about himself, about his past, and so the way those have affected him aren’t immediately obvious either. he looks up from his arm, and nods.
for now, he isn’t going to be more okay, so that has to be enough. and then he tilts his head forward, demanding it of guren too. ]
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[He understands the nod, and he lifts one of his hands to openly stare at it.] I can't tell you everything, even if I wish that I could. It would be nice to get it off my chest.
But there are some things that can't be shared in any way, or it puts the lives of others at stake. Even telling you that much is a risk.
[But his heart... it's getting to be too much. He needs something, especially without his drug to help him reign it in.] You help, Dextera. Just by being you.
[That's some sappy shit right there, but let him get it out in this post-shadow sad heart mood before he goes back to the tsun.] I want to do the same.
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he’s too selfish to push this friendship away, if the conditions are this easy. ]
...
[ and if the secrets guren is keeping involve others—their lives—then he understands that. keeping that kind of thing could easily turn into a twisted, terrible baroque, but what can dextera do except stand by and hope baroques simply don’t exist in this world?
so he takes guren’s hand and squeezes, shameless in his need to get this across. guren does help.
for that, he’s grateful, and he lifts guren’s hand to his forehead with a soft, but content, sigh—that’s all he can do. he can offer this comfort, and hope that’s enough to repay guren for everything. ]
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We're almost there. Let's see that chicken daughter of yours. I want to make a good impression.
[STOP............]
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[ guren makes him feel better with that little comment alone, and dextera squeezes his hand before dropping it entirely. his chicken daughter! she doesn't actually have a name, since dextera scooped her up before they could all be differentiated and named appropriately. most of them have food names, and he'd like to continue the trend.
so he nods. maybe guren can help him name her... ]
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By the way, do you keep them in pens, or are they just running around inside like that big bird?
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...
[ how to explain this? dextera spreads his hands as if to gesture a lot, and then motions in a direction to send his invisible gathering outside. then he narrows his hands together again, just one (probable) chicken, and takes his hands close to his heart.
his chicken daughter is allowed inside. the rest are in pens! ]
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So just yours stays in the house. A house chicken. [Amazing.] I guess it's good that you have a pet to keep you company.
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the closer they get to the house, the faster dextera walks, and there is the definite sound of... clucking, as they approach. the chickens have been fenced off and have a nice little area to enjoy, and it's almost an agonizingly domestic sight. ]
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At the same time, he almost feels tired from it. Emotions are exhausting, and sometimes he just wants to let them all out, but this is a bad time... He's usually so used to visiting Dextera that he doesn't mind walking ahead and pushing the door open, but this time, he lets that excitement be an excuse and keeps his steps in line a little behind him.]
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for now, though, they're out of the house. they're away from that, and dextera feels like his own home is the better place to be, even without a fireplace. they don't need it right now. just company is enough. ]
...?
[ he pokes his head in, and he's not sure where his chicken has gone exactly, but he's sure she'll turn up eventually. he's not worried about it, and he reaches back to hook a finger around one of guren's to guide him into the house. despite the way he seems almost relentlessly happy, there's a wistful edge to his smile when he looks back at guren.
all this, the stupid chicken thing, is just a distraction, isn't it? but distractions are okay sometimes. ]
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He's already listening to try and locate this chicken.]
I don't know how your house is always so quiet when there are always so many people hanging around. [Himself included. But, he guesses this is the quiet person house, after all... It's nice.]
Which way?
[Is she in his room, or are they going to sit and wait, or what?]
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she’s taken it for herself, and she snoozes quietly. ]
...
[ dextera holds a finger to his lips, motioning for guren to be quiet! she’s so cute!! dextera loves her!!! ]
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He's good at staying quiet, though, nodding before he looks back at the chicken.
Alright, he guesses he can see how it can be a pet. It suits Dextera, somehow, to have something so odd sleeping in his room.]
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his expression is warm, terribly fond, and he looks at guren—too satisfied with himself to make fun of. maybe.
she seems to inflate a little with every breath, and then makes a small, peeping snoring sound with every exhale. ]
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Guren steps closer, carefully, but he's worried about getting too close. He gets the feeling that even his presence would be difficult to stay so peaceful around. He doesn't want to wake her up.
So, he'll watch from a couple feet away, arms crossed loosely, focused on this and trying not to get emotional about being here at all. That last part might be showing in his eyes a little. He's happy, he's relieved, but he's worried and sad, too. It's a lot!!]
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when he meets guren’s eyes, there’s something knowing in his gaze—similarly tired, with everything they’ve been through, but not nearly as bad—and he thinks guren would be much better off if he came to crouch as well.
look at her. ]
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