[That's such a big mess up, he honestly wonders if it's a trap, at first. Can Dextera play that dirty? Pretend to mess up and actually lead him in a certain direction? He only has 12 seconds to bet on it, but he's going to go for it, anyway.
The first major glaring weakness he notices now that Dextera tried to undo that. He addresses that with a move, glancing curiously at him.]
[ even though he’s been playing plenty of chess with guren and others, old habits die hard. having hours to decide moves has made him a little prone to correction, testing pieces on the board, and he’s not as surprised by his own reflex as he should be.
his memories are hazy, but his body remembers. with guren’s move, he tries to get back some momentum by making an attack on guren’s bishop, but hopefully his little mistake doesn’t throw the whole match.
Ahaha, you must be tired or something. I was totally losing until just then.
[Even he could tell that... But it looks like Dextera is as pure as he thought, and this isn't some underhanded trick. There's a new attack going on, and he's trying to focus on it. But he's got the benefit of that mess up from Dextera.
It's going to be close, probably.
Last minute, quick decisions are his specialty. He can apply them easily to a game like this, with straightforward rules. It's when he's less familiar with the rules, and misses something, that he ends up really in trouble. Attack his bishop, but he's following a plan now from that mistake, hoping to use it as leverage to win, willing to make sacrifices!!]
So, really, even if I win, I won't feel satisfied... [That's the bummer of this.]
[ well, when he puts it like that, dextera’s competitive streak is sparked. he’s frowning seriously now, redoubling his efforts to come back from that slip. he’s not going to lose, if guren is going to be that way about it...!!
it’s difficult, with one of his pieces out of place, but he’s able to get a formation set up that’s defensive enough to buy him a few moves to figure out how to fix himself.
[And talking, like he thought, is distracting. Before he knows it, he's stuck again, and that has him laughing quietly, under his breath.]
You threw a tantrum, and it fixed it.
[His observation, even if it costs him a few seconds of concentration. He's backed up against a wall here, and he's running out of ways to recover. He clicks his tongue, and makes a move at the last second.]
[ dextera is a little more indignant at the suggestion that it was a tantrum, but it’s probably true—even if he wouldn’t admit it, he takes a lot of pride in his chess skills, and guren brings it out of him.
he’s focused on the board now, not on the silent seconds ticking by, and he makes a few moves that seem regardless of where guren’s pieces are on the board.
he has a plan in mind, and he’s going to execute it.
eventually, though, that stern look on his face eases, and he thinks it’s probably an inevitability that he’s going to win. still, it doesn’t change the fun of playing. guren doesn’t play like someone who has studied chess, and that’s interesting. ]
[ As always, Guren doesn’t go down without a fight. He’s taking longer turns now, using up nearly the full 12 seconds every time, and he’s improving, but he doesn’t have enough turns left. He can see his own downfall, but he plays to the last move, signing when Dextera takes his king. ]
I lost anyway. Good job. [ He’s clearly a little sour about it, even if his comment is sincere, but after what he said about it earlier, it’s probably for the best. He’d be sour either way. ]
Don’t show me how, this time. I want to figure it out myself.
[ dextera doesn’t know if he could walk guren through it as confidently as he has before, considering his big goof in the middle of it, but he nods.
chess is complicated, with hundreds of thousands of possible patterns and playstyles, and it’s fun to watch guren develop his own. he folds his hands tightly in his lap, leaning over the board to see if he can figure out how to counter his own strategy for later use.
maybe he can come to the same conclusion as guren. ]
[The huge mess up is half of the fun! Guren can see where his mind was before the mess up, and then after, see how he came back from it. At least, that's what he's hoping. It's taking a long time, staring at the board, sharing barely any of his thoughts except to rest his finger over a piece and wiggle it a little.]
Have you played this with anyone else here? [While he's thinking.]
[ dextera wasn't expecting that question, and it takes him a moment for his brain to catch up with his ears. he's played a handful of matches with other people, but it was nothing like this—guren is the only person he's habitually played with. ]
I played a few games with Minato once. [ a pause, as he considers the details. ] But I think he was just being nice. You're the only person I know who likes it.
Haha... No, I'm sure Minato enjoyed it, too. He's the kind type of person who'll have fun doing anything if it's with someone he cares about.
[Chess or who knows what else. He let Guren nap next to him for a few hours? That's beyond patience. It's like his friends, back home...]
When I was younger and my friends would try to convince me to play with them, sometimes I'd try to lose as fast as possible, just to get out of it. Goshi thought he'd got me beat until Shinya opened his damn mouth and ruined it. I remember being pissed that he'd seen through me.
[It was his own kind of game, playing the moves to lose... Back when he was even more of a grumpy tsun.
It's out of nowhere, he knows, but he wants to share it for a variety of reasons. He likes to remember, for one, and Dextera is one of the first people he can actually share this with, he feels like. He's unrelated to the army, and he's not going to tease him over sharing feelings or find it weird and out of place. Secondly, Dextera is missing memories himself... and Guren doesn't know if it helps to share his own like this, casually, but he's sure going to try.
He also wants it known that him agreeing to play along like this isn't so usual, either. Dextera has that aura about him that makes it comfortable, so he's not so grumpy. That one's the most secret reason, though!!]
[ dextera is a little stunned, really, that guren would offer him this information seemingly out of the blue, and it shows on his face as guren talks through the memory. his eyes are a little wider, his mouth parted in quiet surprise, but he's certainly nowhere close to teasing—as guren could have expected. although hearing someone else reminisce makes him ache a little for what he doesn't have, more than that, he's happy to have guren open up to him.
he knows this is rare. he won't take it for granted. ]
Thank you for playing with me.
[ it seems like that's all he's going to say, but then, since guren gave him something so important, he feels like it's only fair to reciprocate. ]
Sometimes I hear a voice that sounds like my own, asking to play chess again. Telling me that we were happy.
So it feels like I'm doing something good, when I play now.
[Hmm. He wonders if it's something to worry about that Dextera hears a voice sometimes that sounds like it could be his dead brother. Is that what it is? A spirit, a demon, something similar? But, even if the Order of the Imperial Moon never believed in an afterlife, he can see how Dextera would be comforted by hearing something like that and then moving to act on it.
As long as it's just playing chess, it's fine.]
It is something good. You're having fun, and so am I, so you don't have to thank me, either.
[He starts sliding the pieces back into place, satisfied with whatever he gathered from the last match.] If someone isn't there, asking me to play chess or shogi or video games, then sometimes I can forget to take a break for myself at all.
[ hm, well, yes, dextera is not going to tell guren everything that his brother says to him—the chess is the nice part to recall, and not the way he occasionally chants in dextera's ear that he's suffering, or that dextera is a traitor and a murderer. he's not thinking about those things right now, and tries to avoid it when he can, really. ]
...hah.
[ more a sigh than a laugh, but it's not nearly as tired as his sighs can often sound. there's a small smile, pulling at the corners of his mouth. ]
I've never had time to take breaks like this. It's all new to me, but [ this time, when he pauses... it's because he's shy. ] I'm always happy to do this sort of thing with you.
[Ah, that— he's happy to read it, of course. Happy enough that it feels like his chest swells, and the heat on his face is a little too much. He's worried it's obvious, and the more he worries about it, the worse the feeling gets.
At the same time, even though he scrunches up his face like he's going to come up with some tsundere comment, or tell Dextera to shut up when he's really said nothing at all, he finds himself unable to do it.
The message had been too nice. Despite the way that he pushed everyone and everything away, the automatic reaction to kindness that would scare most people off but kept good friends close, like a test— he doesn't want to test this. The last thing he wants is to push back so much that Dextera pulls away.
So, he stares back down at the chess board, instead, hoping that will help his burning ears.]
...Yeah, I know. [A long pause, like he's still struggling with what to say.] Me, too.
[...]
Want to play another one? They're faster like this.
[ dextera is waiting for it, really. he fully expects guren to tell him to shut up or for guren to forcibly close his laptop so he can't say anything else, and when he gets plain-as-day embarrassment instead, he wonders what that means—was it too much? has he been too sincere?
but then guren quietly admits that he feels the same way, and dextera blushes too, hiding the lower half of his face behind his hand as his gaze slides to the side of the room. he nods. the feeling in his chest is most certainly a happiness he's never known before, but guren looking like that has him all flustered.
so he's glad, when the out of another chess game is offered. to further hide the fact that he's almost dizzyingly happy, he ups the ante on their challenge. he is not looking at the keyboard or actually anywhere on the laptop as he types this out with one hand. ]
[Ugh... Thank god, now they can focus on chess, and he can pretend this never happened since he wasn't called out on it. Dextera being embarrassed is one thing, he's embarrassed half of the time. But him? He doesn't want it seen, or known, or commented on.
And an upped challenge is a good way to get him to settle down, if you can call getting hyped up on excitement "settling down."]
Ten seconds? I was already using most of the 12 last time. [Not that he's wanting him to change his mind. It's just an acknowledgement that this is going to be hard.]
[ dextera is definitely not going to pretend this never happened, and is in fact going to spend an entire day processing it beginning immediately after guren goes home. it's just that he has a distraction now that's hard to resist—the back of his mind, however, is buzzing with the excited acknowledgement that they're friends, not for the first time. he's just happy whenever it comes up, in whatever form it seems to take.
he nods, finally allowing himself to look at the board. guren, please start this match before he melts into a puddle. ]
[Dextera... is cute. Guren isn't blind to his suffering, over there. He's clearly embarrassed, too. But acknowledging that in any way would mean acknowledging that he was the same way, so he's going to pretend he doesn't notice and start this chess game, instead.
After all, this will be a big distraction to focus on. Ten seconds per turn, and Guren is already more prepared than the last match. He's entirely focused, and with knowledge on his mind, he intends to make the right moves this time.]
[ dextera doesn’t let his embarrassment muck up his opening. it’s the easiest part to find patterns in, and even if guren isn’t playing by the book, dextera’s responses are automatic enough to certain configurations that he almost doesn’t need to think.
once they get into the swing of it, he’s calmed down enough to play like normal—and he’s grateful that they’re on a timer, because it keeps him from watching guren for too long. it’s tempting, to let his eyes flicker up, but he avoids it as much as he can.
this match is closer than the last one, even with the two seconds shaved off. guren is leaving no openings, and so dextera just has to try to play a better match. smarter moves. ]
[Guren, meanwhile, has no problem looking at Dextera. In fact, he does it a lot. He's searching his expression for clues about the game, and just watching him play. It's fun like that, seeing him thinking, acting on it, and he might catch a couple of those glances he attempts to hold back from.
He's not letting himself get too cocky, since that'll definitely be his downfall in this. Dextera's too good, but Guren is trying his best in his ten seconds. He thinks outside of the box, tries from a weird angle, moves that wouldn't work for just everyone but might work with Dextera's thinking.
It's too close, he can't tell who's going to win yet.]
[ guren is doing really well for someone who doesn't have plain experience under his belt, but ultimately, it's dextera's impulse for following certain strategies that helps him out here, and he places guren's king in check. ]
...
[ and checkmate, he realizes, glancing over the board. there are no moves left to make that can protect guren's king. it's just up to guren to call it! ]
[ ...dextera tries not to smile in apology, since he thinks that might just piss guren off for him to be too humble about winning, but he nods and accepts the outcome with a little bit more satisfaction than before. he turns to his laptop, pulling up the document again. ]
[He's sort of right. Even that nice comment there, about doing really well, gets his lips to twitch in their frown. He's not pointing any anger at Dextera, but he is blaming himself. If he had done "really well," then he would have won. It wasn't good enough. He didn't get there, so he needs more work.
And as much as he wants to fume and get angry and focus on the work himself, he relaxes a little and stares at that question for a good few seconds before sighing.]
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The first major glaring weakness he notices now that Dextera tried to undo that. He addresses that with a move, glancing curiously at him.]
Did you really mess up?
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his memories are hazy, but his body remembers. with guren’s move, he tries to get back some momentum by making an attack on guren’s bishop, but hopefully his little mistake doesn’t throw the whole match.
he nods, embarrassed. ]
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[Even he could tell that... But it looks like Dextera is as pure as he thought, and this isn't some underhanded trick. There's a new attack going on, and he's trying to focus on it. But he's got the benefit of that mess up from Dextera.
It's going to be close, probably.
Last minute, quick decisions are his specialty. He can apply them easily to a game like this, with straightforward rules. It's when he's less familiar with the rules, and misses something, that he ends up really in trouble. Attack his bishop, but he's following a plan now from that mistake, hoping to use it as leverage to win, willing to make sacrifices!!]
So, really, even if I win, I won't feel satisfied... [That's the bummer of this.]
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[ well, when he puts it like that, dextera’s competitive streak is sparked. he’s frowning seriously now, redoubling his efforts to come back from that slip. he’s not going to lose, if guren is going to be that way about it...!!
it’s difficult, with one of his pieces out of place, but he’s able to get a formation set up that’s defensive enough to buy him a few moves to figure out how to fix himself.
it’s not going to be as close as guren thought. ]
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You threw a tantrum, and it fixed it.
[His observation, even if it costs him a few seconds of concentration. He's backed up against a wall here, and he's running out of ways to recover. He clicks his tongue, and makes a move at the last second.]
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he’s focused on the board now, not on the silent seconds ticking by, and he makes a few moves that seem regardless of where guren’s pieces are on the board.
he has a plan in mind, and he’s going to execute it.
eventually, though, that stern look on his face eases, and he thinks it’s probably an inevitability that he’s going to win. still, it doesn’t change the fun of playing. guren doesn’t play like someone who has studied chess, and that’s interesting. ]
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I lost anyway. Good job. [ He’s clearly a little sour about it, even if his comment is sincere, but after what he said about it earlier, it’s probably for the best. He’d be sour either way. ]
Don’t show me how, this time. I want to figure it out myself.
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chess is complicated, with hundreds of thousands of possible patterns and playstyles, and it’s fun to watch guren develop his own. he folds his hands tightly in his lap, leaning over the board to see if he can figure out how to counter his own strategy for later use.
maybe he can come to the same conclusion as guren. ]
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Have you played this with anyone else here? [While he's thinking.]
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[ dextera wasn't expecting that question, and it takes him a moment for his brain to catch up with his ears. he's played a handful of matches with other people, but it was nothing like this—guren is the only person he's habitually played with. ]
I played a few games with Minato once. [ a pause, as he considers the details. ] But I think he was just being nice. You're the only person I know who likes it.
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[Chess or who knows what else. He let Guren nap next to him for a few hours? That's beyond patience. It's like his friends, back home...]
When I was younger and my friends would try to convince me to play with them, sometimes I'd try to lose as fast as possible, just to get out of it. Goshi thought he'd got me beat until Shinya opened his damn mouth and ruined it. I remember being pissed that he'd seen through me.
[It was his own kind of game, playing the moves to lose... Back when he was even more of a grumpy tsun.
It's out of nowhere, he knows, but he wants to share it for a variety of reasons. He likes to remember, for one, and Dextera is one of the first people he can actually share this with, he feels like. He's unrelated to the army, and he's not going to tease him over sharing feelings or find it weird and out of place. Secondly, Dextera is missing memories himself... and Guren doesn't know if it helps to share his own like this, casually, but he's sure going to try.
He also wants it known that him agreeing to play along like this isn't so usual, either. Dextera has that aura about him that makes it comfortable, so he's not so grumpy. That one's the most secret reason, though!!]
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[ dextera is a little stunned, really, that guren would offer him this information seemingly out of the blue, and it shows on his face as guren talks through the memory. his eyes are a little wider, his mouth parted in quiet surprise, but he's certainly nowhere close to teasing—as guren could have expected. although hearing someone else reminisce makes him ache a little for what he doesn't have, more than that, he's happy to have guren open up to him.
he knows this is rare. he won't take it for granted. ]
Thank you for playing with me.
[ it seems like that's all he's going to say, but then, since guren gave him something so important, he feels like it's only fair to reciprocate. ]
Sometimes I hear a voice that sounds like my own, asking to play chess again. Telling me that we were happy.
So it feels like I'm doing something good, when I play now.
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As long as it's just playing chess, it's fine.]
It is something good. You're having fun, and so am I, so you don't have to thank me, either.
[He starts sliding the pieces back into place, satisfied with whatever he gathered from the last match.] If someone isn't there, asking me to play chess or shogi or video games, then sometimes I can forget to take a break for myself at all.
I bet you just need the reminder, too.
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...hah.
[ more a sigh than a laugh, but it's not nearly as tired as his sighs can often sound. there's a small smile, pulling at the corners of his mouth. ]
I've never had time to take breaks like this. It's all new to me, but [ this time, when he pauses... it's because he's shy. ] I'm always happy to do this sort of thing with you.
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At the same time, even though he scrunches up his face like he's going to come up with some tsundere comment, or tell Dextera to shut up when he's really said nothing at all, he finds himself unable to do it.
The message had been too nice. Despite the way that he pushed everyone and everything away, the automatic reaction to kindness that would scare most people off but kept good friends close, like a test— he doesn't want to test this. The last thing he wants is to push back so much that Dextera pulls away.
So, he stares back down at the chess board, instead, hoping that will help his burning ears.]
...Yeah, I know. [A long pause, like he's still struggling with what to say.] Me, too.
[...]
Want to play another one? They're faster like this.
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but then guren quietly admits that he feels the same way, and dextera blushes too, hiding the lower half of his face behind his hand as his gaze slides to the side of the room. he nods. the feeling in his chest is most certainly a happiness he's never known before, but guren looking like that has him all flustered.
so he's glad, when the out of another chess game is offered. to further hide the fact that he's almost dizzyingly happy, he ups the ante on their challenge. he is not looking at the keyboard or actually anywhere on the laptop as he types this out with one hand. ]
10 seconds.
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And an upped challenge is a good way to get him to settle down, if you can call getting hyped up on excitement "settling down."]
Ten seconds? I was already using most of the 12 last time. [Not that he's wanting him to change his mind. It's just an acknowledgement that this is going to be hard.]
Alright, fine. Ten seconds. Let's go, you ready?
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he nods, finally allowing himself to look at the board. guren, please start this match before he melts into a puddle. ]
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After all, this will be a big distraction to focus on. Ten seconds per turn, and Guren is already more prepared than the last match. He's entirely focused, and with knowledge on his mind, he intends to make the right moves this time.]
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once they get into the swing of it, he’s calmed down enough to play like normal—and he’s grateful that they’re on a timer, because it keeps him from watching guren for too long. it’s tempting, to let his eyes flicker up, but he avoids it as much as he can.
this match is closer than the last one, even with the two seconds shaved off. guren is leaving no openings, and so dextera just has to try to play a better match. smarter moves. ]
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He's not letting himself get too cocky, since that'll definitely be his downfall in this. Dextera's too good, but Guren is trying his best in his ten seconds. He thinks outside of the box, tries from a weird angle, moves that wouldn't work for just everyone but might work with Dextera's thinking.
It's too close, he can't tell who's going to win yet.]
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...
[ and checkmate, he realizes, glancing over the board. there are no moves left to make that can protect guren's king. it's just up to guren to call it! ]
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[He tried for about 8 seconds to find a way out of this, but he finally groans that out, letting his turn slip past as he waves it off.] You win.
[He felt like he was so close!! But he was so far... Now he's frustrated, staring at the board, trying to figure it out again.]
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You did really well.
Could I show you something?
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And as much as he wants to fume and get angry and focus on the work himself, he relaxes a little and stares at that question for a good few seconds before sighing.]
Yeah, sure. Show me.
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