[ dextera doesn’t know how. no one seems to know how, exactly, except the archangel—and a part of dextera still trusts that man, no matter how much he shouldn’t, and without anyone else to rely on for his memories it’s inevitable that he would hear the truth that’s given to him. he killed the world, and it’s the only explanation for the crushing guilt in his chest. ]
…
[ he breathes hard, wet and miserable, against noctis’ chest—but continues to sign against his back. ]
[ Noctis asks softly, because in Dex he finds his own comfort, just a little. It helps to not feel so alone, so cut off from the ones he loves. Dex is a dear friend, too -- one of the first friends he's made that he would always be grateful for.
He absorbs his friend's misery, wanting to comfort, to hold him close and remind him that he isn't alone. ]
[ noctis is so kind, so understanding—dextera wants to be there for him, too, and the kind of resolve that blooms in his heart helps him slowly, slowly calm himself while they’re together like this. he’s not ready to lift his head just yet, but noctis can probably feel his breathing evening out already. ]
…
[ he doesn’t say anything, for a moment, choosing instead to nod. it feels like nothing can fill this void in his heart, and maybe that’s true, but it doesn’t mean he has to give up. there are so many people here willing to be around him, and that means more than he can say. ]
Sorry. [ just one more time, and then he pulls back, wiping a hand across his eyes. ] I’m happy, but it hurts.
[ Noctis says softly, acknowledging his pain and his suffering. But he's here for him, right? They're here and maybe the first step is to know that neither of them are... all that alone. He squeezes his hand then, mustering a small smile. ]
Don't be sorry. There's nothing you have to be sorry for, here.
[ He's quiet for a moment. ] Were you trying to make amends?
[ he was. he is. just not here, because he doesn’t know how, but talking about this makes him remember all that time he spent dying to figure out what he should do. the archangel said to purify god. eliza said to give her his pure water. he was on his way, ready to show her, when he ended up here. ]
[ Something still doesn't seem right with what he'd said, even if Noctis can't put his finger on why. His hand comes to thread with his again, squeezing gently. ]
I really appreciate that you told me this. It must've been really hard for you, too.
[ dextera inhales, and breathes it out slowly. he’s calming down. he’s collecting himself, and once he does that, he’ll be able to offer noctis some of the comfort he’s been receiving.
he doesn’t know all the signs he wants to know, here, so he’s slow about his response. ]
Your father… [ a beat. ] I’m sorry. Losing family hurts.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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…
[ he breathes hard, wet and miserable, against noctis’ chest—but continues to sign against his back. ]
I’m sorry. [ a quiet sigh. ] You too.
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[ Noctis asks softly, because in Dex he finds his own comfort, just a little. It helps to not feel so alone, so cut off from the ones he loves. Dex is a dear friend, too -- one of the first friends he's made that he would always be grateful for.
He absorbs his friend's misery, wanting to comfort, to hold him close and remind him that he isn't alone. ]
You don't have to be lonely anymore, Dex.
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…
[ he doesn’t say anything, for a moment, choosing instead to nod. it feels like nothing can fill this void in his heart, and maybe that’s true, but it doesn’t mean he has to give up. there are so many people here willing to be around him, and that means more than he can say. ]
Sorry. [ just one more time, and then he pulls back, wiping a hand across his eyes. ] I’m happy, but it hurts.
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[ Noctis says softly, acknowledging his pain and his suffering. But he's here for him, right? They're here and maybe the first step is to know that neither of them are... all that alone. He squeezes his hand then, mustering a small smile. ]
Don't be sorry. There's nothing you have to be sorry for, here.
[ He's quiet for a moment. ] Were you trying to make amends?
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…
[ he nods. ]
Nothing works.
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[ Something still doesn't seem right with what he'd said, even if Noctis can't put his finger on why. His hand comes to thread with his again, squeezing gently. ]
I really appreciate that you told me this. It must've been really hard for you, too.
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he doesn’t know all the signs he wants to know, here, so he’s slow about his response. ]
Your father… [ a beat. ] I’m sorry. Losing family hurts.